You deserve better
by Charbin
Summary: This is a short fanfiction about what happens to Yoshiki and Ayumi one year after the disaster which ruined Yoshiki and Ayumi's life after Heavenly Host. I only own the story and the characters belong to xseed and Team Gris Gris. There may be sexual content later in the story.


Ayumi grabbed her school bag and left school; she wasn't going to talk to her friends. Yoshiki especially, he seemed so protective over her and she couldn't figure out why. He often offered to walk her home but she only accepted on days she needed company. She decided that she needed to exit through the southern stairwell and turn left at the bustop, it would delay her time going home but she had all the time in the world. Her parents were at work and Hinoe... Ayumi wiped a tear from her eye. This wasn't the time to get emotional, someone would see her. Even though it had been a year since her life went down the drain with a stupid paper doll, she had kept strong but she was now at her breaking point.

She did as she told and waited at the library until most of the students had gone home then made her way down the southern stairway, she counted her steps to exactly 14, the southern stairway hadn't been renovated so it was slightly rickety as she descended down. "I can take my time," she said. She bit her lip and exited through the small door to the bustop and walked to the left. She hadn't been this way before as only few students lived that way and it was a longer route to her house. She had never realised how beautiful it was until she stepped into the cool air, a gush of wind caught her and she struggled to hold everything down. The sky looked pitch black, it was one of the darkest skies she had ever seen. She knew it would rain and she remembered she left her umbrella outside the school library. She sighed but she didn't really care.

She passed a park and decided to make a detour, it was a lovely little traditional park which she had never been to. It was only very small but had many vibrant colours which swayed with the breeze. She saw a beautiful flower and picked it, she knew what she was going to do with this. She passed a traditional bridge over a small pond, she stopped and stared at the water. "This would've been a nice place to draw..." She smiled slightly and moved over to a small tree where she pulled out some paper and wrote a note. She felt a drop of water splash on to her shoulder, it startled her but she quickly got up and put the paper inside her bag; she would finish it later. She yawned as she went into a small jog as she admired the surroundings. She stopped at a playground and couldn't resist putting her stuff down and sitting on the swing, Hinoe used to push her on these. She remembered Hinoe's middle-school self, she used to come crying home saying that the other children teased her. It was the second oldest memory she had of Hinoe which was slowly deteriorating as she grew older. The wind was picking up as well as the rain started to turn from drizzle to heavy. She sighed as she got up and picked her stuff up; thoughts moved about her head.

The rest of the way, she couldn't stop thinking about it. Satoshi was too busy with Yuka and Naomi to really care about her at the current time, she suddenly felt like she had been punched in the stomach the the thought of Naomi and Satoshi. She still had a crush on him but he was never going to go for a girl like her. Naomi was curvy and had 'child bearing hips', she was very petite and flat chested. She had grown a little bit more but that was all. She was still one of the shortest in the class and felt envious at those who were average height; her mother was very petite so she thought she would be like that. She hated being the size of a preteen because people would often mistake her age until she showed them her ID which she kept with her on the weekends for that reason.

She just made it home when it started pouring; she entered the gloomy house which wasn't very occupied because of Hinoe being dead and her parents at work, her parents had surrounded themselves with work after Hinoe's death. She needed the support they didn't give her. She didn't have any other friends other than Yoshiki, Satoshi and Naomi now. Even though she was the Class Rep, people still found her weird and strict. She missed talking to Mayu, she sometimes seemed like the closest friend in the group but she also missed who told her how to help with her problems but most of all, she missed her sister. Hinoe understood everything and believed it while the students called them insane for saying that 4 students died in a place called 'Heavenly Host'.

She ran upstairs and placed down her bag, she opened her writing book from before and wrote:

Dear Family,

I am sick of life, it is my last day on this earth and I must come to an end. I love you all especially you mother and father. I hope you understand that I can't be here anymore.

Dear friends,

I hope you understand too, losing a friend is tough but I hope you understand..."

She opened a box with a bunch of labeled art, she had a drawing of Yoshiki playing guitar to her- for Yoshiki; A drawing of Naomi and Satoshi- for Satoshi; A pretty drawing of a flower- for Yuka and last of all, a drawing of Seiko- for Naomi.

She had drawn these moths ago by had not actually sent them through. She hadn't built up the courage but today they could see it.

PS. Check my second desk draw

Ayumi stripped down naked and walked to the bathroom with candles, she lit each one and placed a pretty flower on the table. She ran the bath and anxiously waited with a razor in her hand. It filled up and she gently slipped in, she ducked underwater but came up and washed herself. "This is it, Ayumi Shinozaki..." She cut deep hoping she would strike a nerve which she did. She yelped in pain but kept relaxing in the bath; after a while, she became dizzy and slowly drifted off.

Yoshiki was on his way to work when he decided to drop Ayumi's umbrella off; he knocked several times with no answer and eventually grew impatient. Something seemed to be bothering him; he didn't know what it was but his stomach felt hot. He found out the door was open and walked inside. He had been inside her house several times as he had walked her home, her mother and father questioned their relationship which made it awkward but he didn't care.

"Shinozaki?" He said as he walked into her room, "Shinozaki!" He felt like he was intruding but he had a gut feeling something was going on as soon as he knocked. It was unusual for that door to be open just like that, "Shinozaki?" He wished she would let him use her first name. He heard water sounds and walked down the hall to the bathroom and opened the door.

"S-Shinozaki?!" He yelled as he ran over to her body, "Please be okay, please be okay..." He didn't have money for a phone so he ran down stairs and used a house phone that he had seen. He called an ambulance and ran back into the bathroom. "Shinozaki, please be okay." He tried to apply pressure on her wrist.

He heard the sound of sirens as the ambulance drove into the driveway followed by a door opening and footsteps. "IN HERE!" Yoshiki yelled as he kissed her hand. The paramedics rushed in and pushed Yoshiki out the way. "Shinozaki please..."

**Shall I continue?**


End file.
